Why do people BLOG? They Blog because they want to be heard, maybe by a lot of people or maybe not by anyone, but anything to release everything you are thinking but do not say.
Todays frustration BOILS over, and needs to get out.
It's always been a dream of a mother to have happy well adjusted children....GIVE IT UP NOW. Unfortunately it is better to rid youself of silly expecations, that way you are never disappointed.
We meet the "man of our dreams" we marry him and hope for happily ever after...then LIFE Happens. You can't predict it, even plan it. Things happen, people change, get sick, and some people even die, ruining the ultimate expecation that you will live "Happily Ever After".
The best, is to live in the moment, and hope you lived well. Treated others the best you can, do the best you can, and try not to give into the blahs.
The way I see it, if I can sleep at night, and maybe even a dream or two, then I guess I am doing ok.
Sometimes I can honestly say that I am just trying to get through every day without crying. If I let everything get to me, I would be in tears most hours of everyday. So how do you keep from cryying.....you laugh. Try to find the beauty of a moment, the irony of a moment, the humor of the moment, and take it in. I try to keep music in the forefront of my life. I try to take in music and relate to all types that mean something to me. Sometimes putting on music and crying makes me feel the best. They say crying cleanses the soul, I have got the cleanest soul in the world. But I doubt I will ever be done crying.
I was told today by my 18 year old daughter that I RUIN EVERYTHING... There might be some truth to that. I was also told I don't do anything for her, except pay tuition and for her phone. She hates me. It's true, I get up in the morning and think how I can ruin stuff for the day. Once I figure out what I am going to ruin for the day, I make my "To Do List" then go about the day and just ruin stuff and cross it off my list. I think that is what most mothers do. We don't do much else, who has time, between ruining this and that....
Take everything for face value, I will honest in my assumption that this time around, I haven't earned my way into Heaven, I will return to earth and give it another try.
Life isn't easy, it is what it is, just do it, live it, like or hate it, it just IS.
SONG FOR THE DAY......THREE DOG NIGHT~JOY TO THE WORLD~
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